Dear Mr. Trump,
I’ve been writing about your “escapades” for many years in our newspaper, La Voce di New York. However, since the election, I’ve pretty much stopped. Readers are asking me why, so I’ve decided to share my reasons with everybody—including you.
We all knew that if you won the election all your former “enemies,” which to you means anyone who has ever disagreed with you—would have to run for cover, revenge was coming! But even the most cynical of us didn’t realize that it would be like Santa Claus coming to town for your family, friends and toadies—everyone is getting their gifts—no expertise necessary. The only requirement is whether they licked your boots or whether they’re willing to pay upfront for the privilege of serving our country. Now you’ve generously handed your son’s former girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, an ambassadorship to Greece—even though she is in no way qualified to be any kind of ambassador. I figure that Donny must really want her to keep her mouth shut after their breakup– to keep the dirty laundry in the family, so to speak– so the hell with Greece. Anything to keep the family from squabbling.
But IMHO, this time you’ve jumped one shark too many. I’m outta here! And I have a few other gripes too.
My doctor tells me not to drink raw milk–I may get a worm that will destroy my brain just like it ate up RFK’s brain years ago, but your appointment of him as the head of the HHS, making him the health guru for the country (although he has no medical qualifications) means that he is supposed to know better than the medical experts, yet here he is advocating against vaccines, and pasteurization. Oh my! Have we gone back to the 19th century? Poor Pasteur and Salk. They should have known better! But now I’m confused, who should I listen to? A man who tells us a worm ate his brain or the foremost health experts in the medical field? Please help.
Elon Musk, the man who has destroyed as many companies as you, (well okay, you may be the champ in that area—no one has failed as many times as you!) has become your BFF and now we hear that his wealth has reached $400 billion. He’s a lucky man, because more is coming for him and all your super-rich cronies as you throw caution (and economics) to the wind and let them grab anything they can by abolishing or changing regulations on tax cuts, elimination of federal income tax, and deregulation of financial oversight.
And today we found out that Zuckerberg, the man who had banned you from Meta in 2021, wants to get on the gravy train too and is donating $1 million to your inauguration celebration committee. I guess he needs some easing of regulations too, right?
And while we’re talking about nominations, it seems you have a definite soft spot for sexual offenders. Matt Gaetz, Pete Hegseth, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Elon Musk, they all share this “distinction”. Oh, and I forgot the fifth: YOU! Of course, we all know that you—and them—all LOVE women and are eager to protect them, “whether they want it or not”--as you’ve told us.
And let’s talk about my shopping trips to the supermarket. Those post-pandemic prices for groceries are horrific, but now it seems that you’re intent on imposing stiff tariffs on everything imported from other countries because you say it will protect America’s economy. Now I’m even more terrified. How come all those economists claim that these import duties will hike prices to the sky—at a time when we’re battling inflation? Oh yes, that’s because you know better than all of them. I get it now. Thank god that Peter Navarro got out pf jail just in time for you to nominate him as Senior Counselor for Trade and Manufacturing. I’m sure his judgement on tariffs and such were sharpened while he was cooling his heels in prison.
Our planet is in big trouble, what with all the icebergs melting, the wildfires, the monster hurricanes and all, but you don’t believe any of those warnings and to prove it, you’re ready to sell regulation-free, accelerated permits to any people or companies that invest at least $1 billion in the U.S.—even including those that harm the environment. We don’t need trees, we need coal, right? “Drill, baby, drill!” is your mantra.
Well, that’s certainly an ambitious agenda that promises to bring everyone to heel and fix all those pesky problems that Democrats have created. I’m wondering though if maybe you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. I don’t want to mention it, but I’m still waiting for that wall between the U.S. and Mexico that you promised us in 2016 to be built—and for Mexico to pay for it. Just saying…
Good luck to you, Mr. President!
From a confused and distraught writer.
