After being unsatisfied with her sexual experiences, Emily Morse—who holds a doctorate in human sexuality—had enough. That was 20 years ago. The “Sex With Emily” podcast host applied her education to her situation and found an answer: the brain.
“[It] has everything to do with your brain — it’s your largest sexual organ,” Morse, 53, author of the new book “Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure” (Park Row) told the New York Post.
“Once you’re able to integrate your brain with your body, through understanding your sexual intelligence quotient, or Sex IQ,” she added, “you’ll be having the hottest sex and orgasms with yourself and your partner.”
Morse created the concept of a boudoir intelligence test as a form of self-help. This is a collection of information that helps folks identify, communicate and fulfill their ever-evolving sexual wants and needs. She says it’s an understanding of a person’s likes and dislikes, fantasies and quirks, as well as their “Pleasure Thieves” that hamper fun in bed.
In her book, Morse outlines the five key pillars of her framework, one that she claims helped her reach climax a self-record 23 times in one night:
Embodiment
“Embodiment is all about developing a new kind of awareness of your body’s wants and needs. It’s about maintaining that mind and body connection, and staying in the moment, not disassociating, during sex.”
Health
“Great sex is about blood flow. Erections and orgasms come from healthy blood flow, so it’s important to maintain a solid workout routine that keeps the body moving.”
Collaboration
“It’s all about making sure you’re voicing your needs and wants to your partner. Most of the sexual problems in our relationships have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with communication. But once you begin asking yourself and your partner questions, ‘What turns you on?’ ‘What time of day is best for us to have sex?’ ‘What kind of sex are we having?’ couples can grow in this area together.”
Self-Knowledge
“It’s about understanding your arousal patterns and what you need in order to feel sexy and sensual. It focuses on knowing what is required for you to be in the mood to have sex, what gets you ready and turned on. People assume that scheduling sex is boring or sad or a sign that their sex life is dead in the water. But it can actually be really hot, partly because it gives you time to create the ideal conditions for you to build your desire.”
Self-Acceptance
“Fully accepting your body and the sexual experiences you’ve had, or learning to feel good when you’re naked and having sex with your partner, isn’t always easy. But it’s important to begin practicing self-compassion, and telling yourself that you’re lovable, worthy and deserving of great sex despite your insecurities or past.”
