Lately, my single friends and I have been discussing how to totally revamp and disrupt the current dating scene in New York.
Post-pandemic the only real option for finding a boyfriend/girlfriend seems to be the apps: Hinge, Bumble, the League, Raya. No matter what each platform’s schtick seems to be, they yield the same results with the SAME people. More often than not, you match with someone and then absolutely nothing happens.
This happens repeatedly over and over again, same people, same convos, for years. Sometimes you’ll meet up with someone but most of the time there’s dead-end, mindless chatter that goes nowhere. This system of dating in 2023 as we know it is broken. It’s oversaturated, it’s boring and we’re all longing to meet people in person.
The New York Times had an article a couple of weeks ago entitled: ‘Bad Dates Turn Out to Be Excellent on TikTok.’ Which is true, these dates are SO hilariously bad. One woman went viral after she was ghosted 45 seconds into a first date at Buffalo Wild Wings. I give her so much credit, that would have been it for me, forever.
I went to dinner and drinks at a fancy hotel bar in Soho last weekend with friends. Two out of the three of us are single. After a couple of cocktails, my friend noticed a table with a cute guy, so we took a shot. I asked the Maître d’ for a pen and then our waiter for a piece of paper. We paid the check at our table and sidled up to the bar for a night cap. The cute guy got up to leave and walked by us, I tapped him and handed him a note: ‘My friend thinks you’re cute.’ He walked out of the restaurant; I saw him open the note and call over all of his friends and he was beaming. Nothing happened but we made his night and despite the outcome, it kind of made ours.
We felt like we were onto something. I started searching for my school girl-like note passing dating concept. I landed on a ‘Secret Message Party’ at a fondue and wine bar in Lower Manhattan. So, we went two days later for dinner. We were given a pad of paper and a pen. We were instructed to write notes if we wished and they would be anonymously delivered to neighboring tables. We settled in, ready to dive into our newfound dating land. Disappointingly, all of the tables were either couples or families but then we spotted a single guy sitting nearby. We drafted our creepy-sounding but well intentioned note: ‘Are you here alone?!’ We crumpled it up and waited for the waiter to pick it up. Just as the waiter arrived, I looked over and our recipient’s girlfriend arrived. We hid the note. The idea behind the night was a great concept, just bad execution..
What’s the answer? A more fun-sounding singles meet-up? Adult rec sports? Bring back in-person speed dating? Or just keep going as is for the stories? Here’s to dating disruption!
