Ripples from the war in Gaza reach Down Under. In Australia, Jay Lazarus, a Perth gay hairdresser, was apparently heartbroken when the lesbian couple who had selected him as a sperm donor changed their minds because he is Jewish and the war is making them reconsider.
Lazarus, 37, told the New York Post he is a “proud, South-African born, Australian-raised gay Jewish man”. He had always wanted to help couples to have a child, and in October 2022 he joined a Facebook group connecting couples and sperm donors. He was struck by the story of a Queensland couple and they began their journey together, including accurate genetic and medical tests and counseling sessions for Lazarus and his partner, in accordance with the Australian law. He says that he spoke extensively to the couple via Zoom, texts and calls. He was ready to disappear from their lives after the birth or to become an “uncle” figure, as they would wish.
His sperm was donated in September and frozen for three months.
After October 7th and the Hamas attack on Israel, Lazarus shared posts on social media in support of Israel. In December, the couple – who had known all along that he was Jewish – texted him declaring they wouldn’t be using his sperm because, while profoundly grateful, they were “deeply affected” by “the war between Israel and Gaza”. The long message also said that “we are down a rabbit hole with the depth of our emotions and the ethical challenges”.
Jay Lazarus took some weeks to process the news before sharing it on social media, writing that “prejudice is still persuasive, even in progressive circles that champion ‘kindness and love'”. For him, the couple’s action smacks of anti-semitism, something which “is not just a relic of the past but a living, breathing prejudice that continues today”. He added, “I didn’t think the day would come that I would have to post a story like this for being Jewish”.
Lazarus has not renounced his dream of being an useful sperm donor. He’s been working also with another couple who already suffered a miscarriage and are going to try again next March. “I think they were worried that I was going to pull the pin on them”, he says. “They’ve been so supportive and awesome”.
