Hattie Wiener, the creator of Sexquisite Aging has some advice for us: be a “committed virgin until 22 and committed slut from 55 on.” Her mission in life is “communicating freedom,” and sharing her journey of embracing sexuality in her older age. She’d like you to do the same. Hattie is 86 and believes that she should live her sexual life out in the open and with no filters. Just let it all hang out.
“Being a cougar or an older woman who f***s young guys or f***s altogether, there’s all sorts of stereotypes that go along with being old and most of them are anti sexual,” she explained. “And so, as you would imagine, I just used all those stereotypes and did the opposite.”
Wiener’s journey started when she was 55 and began to put out newspaper ads stating that she was “looking for a supremely sexual man under 35” after she had separated with her husband of 25 years. Since then, she’s been using her escapades to make a point about older women and their sexuality. She wants to liberate their inhibitions at any age.
“Most people like the idea that I’m having sex, mostly because of how I look. Now, if I looked like a typical 80 something year old, maybe people would say, ‘Who would f*** that wrinkled mass?'” she said. “People are allowed to love babies with their vomit and with their smelly diapers, but they’re not allowed to love themselves in the same way. Now, I’m not saying you should have a smelly diaper, but make sure that you do what you do need to feel good.”
For Wiener, being, and looking like, an 86- year-old isn’t something that holds her back from dressing as she pleases—in a manner that many people would find totally inappropriate—and from chasing young men.
“I look and I ask myself, ‘Do these wrinkles really matter to me?’ They don’t. What matters to me is muscle, these muscles,” she said, pointing to her legs. “I don’t want to insult my body. There has to be a way to honor what time takes and what time gives and that’s what I live with.”
She also subscribes to the idea that what’s on the outside is less meaningful than what she has to offer from her heart.
“I feel most beautiful when I’m being most real, most kind, most good. If I’m looking at someone and I see that how I speak to them matters, I feel beautiful for that,” she said. “I feel brave. It takes a long time to stop hiding cause what you’re hiding is who you are.”
If you like Hattie Wiener’s philosophy of life and aging you can book a therapy session with her. As she describes her mission on her website, “…My no filter techniques help you develop the courage to overcome fears, blocks, and inhibitions dealing with matters of sexuality, ranging from being a sex worker, to bio-identical hormone replacement advice….”
