As a guy, I believe in the importance of treating my date with respect and a little bit of the lost values of chivalry and romance. One question that often arises talking about dating is who should pay for dinner or drinks.
Trying my best to be a gentleman, I take pride in initiating the date and making the first move. And, naturally, I believe that the first round of drinks or dinner should be on me. It’s a time-honored tradition that I hold dear, and I take great pleasure in being able to show my date that I value her company and enjoy spending time with her.
Again, we are in New York City, 2023: I recognize the importance of gender equality. If my date offers to split the bill or even pay for the second round, I would feel grateful and impressed by her independence and confidence. I believe that mutual respect and consideration and common sense should guide our decisions when it comes to paying for dates.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to show my date that I care about her and that I’m willing to invest in our relationship. If I’m on a first date with someone I’ve just met, I’ll happily pay for the entire meal or drinks. If we’re in a more established relationship or are simply hanging out as friends, we might take turns paying or split the bill. It’s all about open communication and making sure that everyone feels comfortable and valued: there’s a thing we call “the move”, with friends back home in Italy.
It’s the simple gesture of the girl, when the check arrives, to (pretend to) grab the wallet.
If “the move” does not happen, well, I would call it a little scratch on good night: nothing too compromising but I will notice it.
One thing we should not forget when it comes to dating; I believe in the power of romance. I love to surprise my date with flowers or small gifts, or to take her to a special restaurant or bar that I know she’ll love. For me, paying for dinner or drinks is just one small part of the larger picture of showing my date I care, that I’d like to see her again.
I would like to conclude with a piece of advice a good friend once gave me: if for any reason you can’t do it, then find something else to do; grab a coffee and go for a walk together, give your date a flower, lend her/him/them a book.
The reaction will give you a perception of the person in front of you, and, if there’s a thing a learned from romantic comedies, even the toughest and most cold-hearted New Yorkers love these little gestures.
