In recent years, a new relationship phenomenon has been spreading, particularly on social media: the concept of “apartners.” The term refers to couples who choose to live separately while maintaining an emotional bond. Often synonymous with the “LAT” Living Apart Together model, this lifestyle is increasingly being adopted, not only by ordinary people but also by celebrities. Famous figures like Gwyneth Paltrow and Sarah Paulson have publicly shared that they live apart from their partners and have sparked discussions about how this arrangement can actually strengthen a relationship.
Sarah Paulson explained that the key to her long-term relationship with actress Holland Taylor lies in deciding when to be together, rather than feeling obligated to always share the same space. Gwyneth Paltrow, on the other hand, explained that she and her husband, Brad Falchuk, live in separate homes. Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph also revealed that she and her husband, Vincent Hughes, live in different states. For these couples, the philosophy is simple: live apart when it’s right to do so and be together when the timing is best.
Contrary to the belief that being apart might signify a rupture, a crisis, or a distancing, for some people, it represents a healthier and more satisfying alternative to traditional cohabitation.
Although the concept of “living apart together” is not new, as illustrated by Sharon Hyman’s documentary “Apartners: Living Happily Ever Apart”, the term “apartners” has recently gained popularity on TikTok. Here, many people share their experiences of living separately, showing how this choice works to their benefit. Some believe it promotes individual independence, a factor that, in the long run, fosters a more balanced and healthy relationship.
One of the most discussed aspects of this model involves the so-called “sleep divorces,” when couples choose to sleep in separate beds or rooms for practical reasons like snoring, restless sleep, or simply incompatible schedules. This trend is not only described by influencers: a 2017 survey by National Sleep Foundation, a U.S. nonprofit organization focused on sleep health, revealed that one in four couples sleeps apart. While this practice is still considered taboo, experts suggest it can actually improve a relationship. Dr. Meir Kryger, a sleep specialist, emphasized that individuals should not feel embarrassed about taking this step, especially if it helps improve their lives.
According to Kryger, there is no evidence to suggest that those who sleep apart have weaker romantic bonds compared to those who share the same bed.
